You Don’t Get to Tell Us We’re Too Young

I get it. I honestly hear you. I understand that you think it’s not the cool thing to get married at 24. I can see your disgust with my choices and their indirect effect on your life. And trust me, I know it’s difficult to watch someone start the rest of their life and still not be able to rent a car. I wish I could make my happiness easier on you, easier FOR you.

I’m a bartender, I hear it all. I hear you tell your buddy that I’m “fucked” and not thinking about having fun. I heard you ask why under your breath. Mostly, I hear you question whether it’s a joke when you actually get to meet my fiancé. I’ve heard every single word of it, for 91 days. It doesn’t bother me, not one bit. And honestly, I don’t know if it bothers her, but don’t get your hopes up because not even my laugh bothers her. What bothers me is that you even had to bring it up, why is getting married young taboo, but we rally around college graduates the same age, who are also committing to the rest of their life? The best, the absolute best, is hearing you guys, yes you, talk about that I should know better. That I saw what getting married too young can lead to. Yet to this day, my parents are supportive and involved in all the daily planning, making sure that’s NOT me. Not our marriage. Again, I guess I just don’t see why it’s bothering you. It’s not going to fall apart. You don’t need to tell me that you and your wife don’t talk anymore. That your sex life is obsolete after the honeymoon, and your best friend is the dog because “by golly he’s the only one who listens to me anymore” it just gets old. My best friend IS my dog. I will literally look you in the eye and tell you I love my fiancé and Kaptain is my best friend.

I get, not have, I get to wake up next to her every morning, get to take her to breakfast, get to make her laugh, for the rest of my god damn life. That’s me, that’s where I am. If that’s depressing for you, as a twenty-something year old doing lines at a dive bar, then just discuss it with the people who share your view, easy. I thought long and hard about proposing. I told my best man before I even knew, just to see if I could say the words. Two years ago, I promised my friends and the bottle of SKYY I was guzzling, I would never have kids, and probably had no interest in getting married. Two days ago, she picked out her dress. My bride, my commitment, coming to fruition before my very eyes. You’re the reason I throw out pick up lines from across the room, just to see her laugh, you give me a reason to remind the world she’s all mine. Not to prove anything to you, just to remind you how easy it is to put effort into making her happy. “Oh kiddo it’s a long road!” Well, yeah, so was college, and getting my license back, and saving for a ring. OF COURSE it’s not going to be easy. Not every day, nothing is. Your sad story of how you couldn’t keep him, or her, in the front of your mind will not deter me from making the same decision, and doing it better. Doing it smarter.

In roughly 14 months I’ll be standing at the end of the aisle, looking over everyone that never tried to talk me out of it, never tried to convince me there was more to do as a single guy. I’ll look over family, friends, I’ll see smiling faces, my mom most likely crying, and my dad even more likely making fun of her for it. I’ll see my beautiful sister walk her way towards her place next to the bride, and my always boisterous brother make his way to our side. Then finally I’ll look up and see her. In the dress, her smile, the aura she brings with her that lights up every single corner of any room she walks into. I will see her for the last time as anyone but my wife, think about that. My wife. Bonkers. I’ll look away just for a second, that’s all it will take to give everyone the nod. Thank you. I will never second guess anything about my life and where I’m headed. And I promise you, and you, and you, telling me I’m too young  is useless. Keep your stories, keep your heartbreak, keep your regrets. You can have all of the fun, it’s fine. I have her.

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